Monday, March 16, 2020

The Unknown

I am super strong woman. I know I am. I have been through so much that has made me that way throughout my almost 40 years. To date, the only thing that can stop me in my tracks is the unknown. The unknown can literally turn me into someone I don't even know. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I spend a lot of time in the bathroom with an upset stomach. I am on edge. I snap at the ones I love. I become someone I don't like.

And what's worse... I pray for peace. I pray for calming. I pray for wisdom during the unknown time frame. I know God is teaching me something. He is always up to something. I just can't figure that part out until usually years later. 

And what's even worse... I know things will be okay. I know no matter what things will eventually be okay. It might not be the path I want to be on, but together with my family we always will be okay. I know deep down, yet my body won't believe it. My body works to sabotage me. 

I have been singing "Into the Unknown" a lot lately from the Frozen 2 movie. My youngest said I can't sing the Whoa part unless I learned the song, so I did. The words that remind me of the unknown that I have been dealing with is:

What do you want? 'Cause you've been keeping me awake.
Are you here to distract me, so I make a big mistake?

As always I will continue to try to not let my mind control who I am. I will be okay. I will get through anything life throws into my path. I was created to be something so much more. The unknown... the fear... the uncertainty will not change me anymore. It might stop me once in a while, but I am fighting to become better. To not let the unknown win...


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